Zoom Car Wash

My thoughts and emotions are clear as I fictionalise this account about my day while sitting in a car wash. This is because it is something that needs to be shared.
As I arrive the first thing that comes to my attention is the gushing water and foam blistering through a spinning drum. As I sit through the “touch” car wash, I notice something. There is no water being sprayed; only brushes dragging through the paint like sandpaper on a luxury vehicle. At this moment I am sure that I paid $15 for a DIY clear coat removal.
I then shift my focus to what I deem to be the final frontier — the “touchless” car wash. This should have been the winner, as the name touches on the aerial and screw-free cleaning. Unfortunately for me, the outcome was scratch-free painting. The decision to move forward without making any moisture contact turns out to be a big mistake. It is clear that at no point did a glimpse of soap, pressure, or even ample wetness will be used, hence the gentle waft of water can only be described as nothing more than disguise.
We charge you for an experience, and there is no actual experience taking place, authorize me to state that we deserve to be labeled frauds. That is tantamount to requesting a pizza and getting a warming surface which radiates spice perfume instead of the real thing. If you want to sell a service termed a car wash, why is it so difficult to incorporate water into the equation?
If so, I’d be saying zero stars if I could, as it was in this case clear that my car went in dirty, managed to come out scratched and somehow still dirty at the same time. That is ridiculous, and comedically impressive all at once.

I paid $15 for an ultimate express wash. This is the spotted, streaky mess I ended up with. Has to be the worst car wash ever.

I’m giving this 4 stars because the people who work here are great and the wash does a good job, but for them to say it’s 24 hours is a joke. Each time I’ve gone to the Salisbury or Berlin location after hours, either the screen isn’t working, the wash is blocked off, or some other malfunction. Don’t even try to go after hours. Their response says that the self-service bays are 24/7 which is why they claim 24/7 service, but in Salisbury and Berlin the automated drive-through wash cleared states it is “24/7” but neither of the locations are often operational after hours. I’ve driven to both locations countless times and the screen not work, the door not come up to start the wash, traffic cones blocking it, etc. I have learned my lesson trying to go after hours