Zoom Car Wash

My thoughts and emotions are clear as I fictionalise this account about my day while sitting in a car wash. This is because it is something that needs to be shared.
As I arrive the first thing that comes to my attention is the gushing water and foam blistering through a spinning drum. As I sit through the “touch” car wash, I notice something. There is no water being sprayed; only brushes dragging through the paint like sandpaper on a luxury vehicle. At this moment I am sure that I paid $15 for a DIY clear coat removal.
I then shift my focus to what I deem to be the final frontier — the “touchless” car wash. This should have been the winner, as the name touches on the aerial and screw-free cleaning. Unfortunately for me, the outcome was scratch-free painting. The decision to move forward without making any moisture contact turns out to be a big mistake. It is clear that at no point did a glimpse of soap, pressure, or even ample wetness will be used, hence the gentle waft of water can only be described as nothing more than disguise.
We charge you for an experience, and there is no actual experience taking place, authorize me to state that we deserve to be labeled frauds. That is tantamount to requesting a pizza and getting a warming surface which radiates spice perfume instead of the real thing. If you want to sell a service termed a car wash, why is it so difficult to incorporate water into the equation?
If so, I’d be saying zero stars if I could, as it was in this case clear that my car went in dirty, managed to come out scratched and somehow still dirty at the same time. That is ridiculous, and comedically impressive all at once.

We accidentally locked our keys in the car mid-wash and were bracing for a rough afternoon, but Antonia absolutely saved the day. She spotted us stressing, and then surprised us with cold water bottles *and cookies* while we waited. Her warmth, calm professionalism, and genuine care turned an embarrassing mishap into a reminder that great customer service still exists. Antonia is a true asset to Zoom Car Wash, and because of her we’ll be lifelong customers. Thank you for hiring people who treat strangers like friends!

I paid $15 for an ultimate express wash. This is the spotted, streaky mess I ended up with. Has to be the worst car wash ever.